Between Nostalgia and the Not-so-algia..

Guess nostalgic feelings are pretty common if you have just relocated to a whole new place, from four years of sedation in fun and happy-go-luckiness. And I am no exception! But then, there are lots to enjoy and explore. And life is pretty easy and things are at easy access.

Buses are almost on time. People stand in queues. The seats are not broken. People don’t sit on the bus top and neither is the bus floor covered in vomit.

Roses grow over fences. Both, white Picket and wires. instead of our (spell check disabled) ‘bougainvillea’. And I guess, there are more varieties and colors of roses in three adjacent houses than in the Ooty botanical garden. Really.

This city is clean. The mayor doesn’t even know I exist or my blog. So forget bribing me. The tidiness is fact.

People are very, very friendly. Friendlier than many friends I have known.
The weather is superb. Summer has just set in. Warm days and not-so-nippy nights.. I like it.

The food is..mmm..too good I gained two kilos in 15 days! Something that Karunya couldn’t do in 4 years!!

This place is really nice, you know. I’m not sure if I wanna go back home.

But more often than not, memories flood and I feel like those are still real and happening in another part of the world and I just want to return to that sweet familiarity. Yeah,I know.. it is less credible than those space portals from the Hot Wheels movies. They are all over! Sad truth.. but..

Walking alone to the bus terminal.. How many times have I walked the college grounds with friends, cheer and laughter. There was company even to the toilet. Wow!!

Java.Oracle.Linux.Java.Eclipse.Oracle.Java. Huh! I remember the project semester. The “supervised” lab sessions when we sincerely played crosswords and that ‘tallying tables’ game. I remember Netbeans and OpenSuse. I remember the Unix labs. And the void inside everyone’s head. Including the lecturers’. How happy we all were. Wish I could relive those days. Just the same way!

Strogonoff, Baguette, Promotus, HotDogs, Pizzas. Nice food.. But it is just meat, meat and more meat everyday. I remember the mess food – Poori and Channa, that Sambar sadham with nei, Parotta-Curma, Cauliflower, Cutlet on Thursday evenings. I remember amma. She is the best cook in all the world. Wish she were here..or atleast one of those mess akkas. Sniff. Sniff.

I remember every day on the way to work, how we’d rather take the bus from CBE Junction to Karunya than spend 50 bucks on a shared taxi, back from home after holidays, once in three months. Here, my everyday bus fare is around 110 rupees! BUS FARE. EVERYDAY. DUH!

That six rupees ‘kuchi chips’ from the canteen. How many times has it been my dinner. And lunch! I happened to see a similar thing in a kutty shop here. I was so excited. Wow! Kuchi chips!!
Me: Quanto custo é isso?
ShopKeeper : Dois reais e vinte centavos. Voce quer?
Me : *Mental calculation : Twenty six twos are Fifty two..plus some six rupees.. woof!*.
(Out Loud, with a stupid smile) Não, Obrigada.
*Instructing brain : I think it’s better to wait till I get home. Will buy 10 kuchi chips packets for the same amount*.

And well, honestly, nostalgic or not-so-algic, I am waiting to get back home.

Wanna Be a Centurion!

Waking up every day to “Is this what you want to do with life?” is rather irritating. Because I know the answer but I don`t know what to do about it. And probably, I cannot do anything. ‘Coz there is nothing at all I can do without affecting a soul outside of mine, other than cutting my hair. And that’s what I did. Cut it twice in 15 days!
I lazily brush my teeth wondering why I spent four years and a huge chunk of my parents’ money on something I would come to so loathe.
Fifty minutes of my one hour travel to work, I condemn myself for having landed in this binary mess.
Eight hours of work, and every 15 minutes, I bleep on God’s reminder how I would religiously perform my duties as a community service volunteer.
I return home still figuring if I can ‘rollback’ to 2005. So, perhaps, I could make a choice I wouldn’t regret five years later.
I don’t want to spend all my life serializing objects or calling remote procedures. To me, it’s not all that exciting. Really.
I wonder why I am resolving problems for rich wireless telecom giants when all I ever want in life is help distribute rations to people in refugee camps, who do not have food to eat. Let alone cellular phone facilities.
Yeah, all right. I already hear: ‘So, Go ahead. Who the heck is stopping you?’ But then.. I don’t know.. Don’t think it is as easy as it appears. I don’t really mind the risk, but people aren’t toenails to just clip away. I don’t want my decisions to affect anyone. (Anyone = Father, Mother and to a small extent, Sister). And I am loaded with questions, questions and more questions.
Charity begins at home? So, moving toward what I call charity, running over the shattered plans and hearts of folks at home is a mean thing to do, right? Can I go my own way, without even caring to offer a token of loyalty? Isn’t that what they call being ungrateful? Is it my right and an act of faith to “follow and live my dream” or does it come at the cost of a couple of broken hearts?
Aah, how I wish the arms that always held and comforted me were open now! Rhetoric wish! At present, there is this huge sign that reads “Very High Voltage. Do not dare”. :(
Lord, dear Lord, I don’t ask for understanding and I am not asking that you give me answers. I am just asking that you give me faith. Faith to believe, even when I don’t see. Faith like the Centurion’s.

Under the Juniper Tree

I am sitting on my bed – totally wrapped and still shivering. And I remember what used to, two months back, incessantly blare inside my head – RUN.RUN.RUN. I didn’t know where or how. But just wanted to run away. More like Elijah, Just that my circumstances were not all that threatening. Well, they weren’t even bad.

I have no idea why or how I landed in Brazil. And from Mount Moriah to here in Curitiba, the hand of providence has been ever faithful. How beautifully God provides for, making the road rise up to meet me.

The beauty of God carrying me when I ask Him if He would walk along.

The unknown mumbaikar, who helped me with the baggage and offered his language dictionary without which I would’ve been thought as mute here.

The lovely couple that took me in – not just into the house but also into their family.

The comfortable work place where we perch as friends rather than colleagues.

The situations that made M and S move from Boa Vista just a week before I came here. We’re now neighbors with the best neighbors in the world! Barney, Sol n Salon – The biggest blessing!

The music that lifts my spirits up. Barney’s guitar and The City’s songs.

Salon’s table of food like the Zarephath widow’s kneading bowl - never goes empty.

The amazing church in English and the awesomeness of God leading me there.

The even more amazing ways in which He kept talking to me even through the Portuguese services!

The choir and the music.*God, you never let me run away from that, do you?*

Trusty people to hang around with and unexpected opportunities to visit places.

The big bunch of friends who care, laugh along and make life fun.

The ever comforting, ever near, ever so close Presence.

I see providence with every passing minute. I am flattered and more than grateful! I look back and see just one set of footprints. I look above and see a Juniper Tree.

Supernatural Surprise

I like surprises. They sort of catch you off-guard and for a split second you are lost for reaction. This surprise came in the most supernatural way that even though a week has passed, I haven’t figured out how to react.
I have honestly lost count of the surprises that God throws my way. They come in all sizes. It was a couple of weeks before that I was telling God how it had been a while since He showed the ‘Love Symbols’ that we shared. A few of my favorites are The Glowworm, The Butterfly, The Eagle and The Rainbow. I was yet to see a rainbow in Brazil, which so happened to be God’s more preferred way of saying ‘love ya!’ four years in college. So I was insisting God surprise me in some way on my trip to ‘Foz Do Iguacu’ last weekend.

And I knew He would! I was at the ‘Cataratas’, climbing up the mountain and I told God with a smirk – “You know Lord, sometimes I think I can predict you. I know you are definitely gonna put a rainbow in there and I am not going to be surprised. :P”

I was near the waters and I saw three brilliant rainbows. So beautiful, in places you can never imagine! I felt so thrilled. But then I was also teasing God saying, “I knew it Lord! I so knew it. Your surprise didn’t pass”. It felt like God was smiling back and saying “Look Up”. I did and I was.. ‘bowled over’ doesn’t even get as close as a hundred miles. There were like thirty eagles – Swooping, swarming, resting, soaring. I can never possibly put that feeling into words. The eagles on mountain tops! Even incredible is believable..This one was way beyond.

I felt so so humbled – at His splendor, at His majesty, at His unfathomable self. I wanted to fall on my knees and bow in reverence. The voice of many waters – The voice of the Lord. I almost choked to tears. I will never understand His ways. His methods. His plans.

And I remembered what ‘The Baptist’ said in his sermon the week before.
“If the things God does are small and simple enough for me to understand, He wouldn’t be big enough for me to worship”.

Someone had planted a wooden board on the way and it read (In English, to my joy!) :
Mightier than the thunders of many waters,
Mightier than the waves of the sea –
The Lord on high is mighty.
Psalm 93:4

M.T. : The Misplaced-Terrestrial

If Steven Spielberg has any idea of making a movie like “M.T. : The Misplaced-Terrestrial”, I would do anything to dust it off of his head. Lives of M.T’s are more embarrassing than they are adventurous. Trust me.

The camera zooms in showing, first the universe->solar system->a revolving Earth-> a disfigured Google Earth screenshot-> South America-> Brazil-> Parana-> and finally a road sign that reads “Ben Vindo a Curitiba”. (Oh, well, if Spielberg had graduated from Karunya, I bet this would be the opening scene. The hundreds of presentations they show sort of hardcodes into your brain that any visual clip starts with the cosmic mystery)
And then clearing from a hazy image, you see the protagonist (which would be me), staring back at you – blank and petrified.

Yeah, right, that is how I felt when I landed in Sao Paulo. I had to take a domestic connection to Curitiba from there, and for a really long time I was wishing Portugal had colonized India instead of the British. Nothing here was in English. Nada! Even those airport folks who wore jackets inscribed “Need help?” replied something in Portuguese which I interpreted as “Sorry, we don’t speak English”.I felt like I was stranded. Guess anyone would have felt pretty much the same, specially when you were sent a couple of emails about the high crime-rate and a list of DON’T’S that went upto page 4.. To top it all, I was watching ‘Taken’ on the flight from Dubai to Sao Paulo. Crumbs!! I was wondering how I was ever going to figure out where the domestic terminal was, let alone the flight. Thank God for a Mumbaikar at the airport, who helped me with my luggage and the domestic terminal. Saude, Mr. Alphonso!

Finally in Curitiba! The family that lets me lodge is amazing. A godsend, honestly! But most of our conversations are gesture-talk. And it is more like I start laughing when they tell me about a dead grandmother thinking it was some joke about SpongeBob.

If you think that was awkward, welcome to the new awkward.

It was the first day at office and I’m so grateful for the folks and their friendliness. They invited me to lunch at a buffet place and there were around 12 of us. If it wasn’t for ‘Motorist-Namesake(MN)’, I wouldn’t have known I had to pick my own plate and my own food. MN introduced me to Sushi and man, it was the best Sushi I’d ever eaten in life! (Alright, that was the first Sushi I ever ate). Everything about Sushi was great except that I didn’t know how to use the chopsticks. I plopped a Sushi-unit(Pardon me, I know not what they call it) into Soy sauce and no sleight of chopsticks worked to retrieve it. Thank God no one noticed. Or were atleast courteous enough to pretend like they didn’t. I finally saved it from disintegrating in the sauce with a fork, on MN’s suggestion, for which I was very grateful as it came with no laughter attached. I ate the remainder of the food with fork and knife. Tchaued the chopsticks!

Partly feeling okay and mostly NOT OKAY AT ALL, I was on my way home, and huh! I need to travel an hour and a half, switching 3 buses that are loaded with “English – strictly prohibited” people. Come on, this is the first time I’m travelling back from work, the route is all new and I can’t even pronounce the place I need to get down to take the next bus. And despite it becoming pretty dark when my watch shows just 6:30 pm, I managed to reach the final boarding place and Jitters! Usually the buses are boarded at the front entrance and I religiously did so till I was shoved back and directed (read: pointed) to the mid-entrance of the bus. Seems at stations called “Terminals”, as the one I was standing in, so was the custom. Bah!
Already flushing pink(Okay, I know it doesn’t show on my face), I got inside to hear a group of women LOL and like the instincts of every human, native or misplaced, I thought they were laughing at me..and I went purple(which didn’t show either, duh!)

Next morning, I take the 7 o’clock bus sternly believing morning brings with it joy, and hoping that I find myself less misplaced – this is what I realize. When in school, say 2 of every 10 people are pretty and of course, you’re in the other 8, fervently wishing to be in the minority. In college, 5 of the 10 girls are pretty and cute and you ask God why He never answered your “with-faith-like-a-child” prayer from school. Well, God’s timing is perfect, ain’t it? Now, here in Brazil, He let me receive my answer.. I’m one of the two, and 8 out of 10 are gorgeous! Thanks, Lord!!

People drive on the right side and I so idiotically open the left door of cars forgetting it is the wheel side which immediately commands a “So, you gonna drive? .. Huahuahua..” from my colleagues..and a series of funny comments in Portuguese, and suddenly I’m thankful I don’t understand the language. And I was almost run over trying to cross the road as I carefully checked to the right and a truck vroomed past me from the left. “Oh darn!” I screamed to myself,” That’s the right side” ..and I heard myself – That is the right side! Yeah, perhaps it wasn’t all that thwarting, just that it would have cost me my life.
Well, these are some miseries that I faced, as a fairly level-headed independent major. Guess it would take some more time till I fit in.. Until then, Me. T. , The misplaced terrestrial will have to survive the weird and wonderful ways of the nova lugar(new land, in Portuguese.. ;) ).

His.. Faithfully or however.

You really might want to read this. Thanks to BeyondMadness’ grandpa, who had preserved this book – “Sermons in Solitary Confinement” by Richard Wurmbrand. You might have heard about, read about / of him, the pastor who started the Voice of the Martyrs.
I chanced to read just a few sermons from the book and I need say, they were really deep.
This, in the preface, almost cut right through. Go ahead.

Accept your thoughts of despair and of faith, your doubts and their solution, your moments of madness and their passing away. Allow it all to happen to you. You might imagine that you are thinking. In fact, you are being thought. You may be an experiment for angels. You may be the object of a bet between God and satan, like Job. Be determined only to cling to God, even if He slays you, even if He slays your faith. If you lose your faith, then remain faithlessly His.
If all the fruits of the spirit disappear, and you remain a barren tree with only leaves, remember that leaves also have a purpose. Under their shadow, the fruitful ones may rest in the embrace of their divine lover. Leaves are used by the bride to make a garland for her beloved. Leaves are changed into healing medicines. And even when the leaves become yellow and fall withered to the ground, they can form a beautiful carpet on which He will walk toward those who, unlike you, have remained faithful to the end.

The Pond Frog?

Hmmm..I was busy exfoliating my head off of real and relevant issues for the last two months so I could dwell uninterrupted on non-existent, useless debris. Even now, there are pointless stuff floating inside my cranium and guess I’m gonna junk it out the blogger way!
Last week, I happened to spend an evening with Surrender, an acquaintance, now in eighth grade. And I know for sure, if I were in my 8th grade now, she’s never gonna be friends with me. It was almost after a year that I was meeting her and she hadn’t changed much. Last year, when I met her, She was devotedly engrossed in her quest of unearthing all possible reviews on The High School Musical movies from the internet knowledge reserve. This time, it was déjà-vu. Well, almost, except that she was now lookin up Twilight – All genre: Movie, Bloopers, Parody, and Lady Gaga, and a page solely attributed to dissect Robert Pattinson and his private life, Dress-me-up Barbie and some five more tabs.
I tried talking to her about her school, friends and stuff and all that I managed to get from her side was a description of some pool party that she’s been to. There wasn’t much to natter coz there wasn’t anything at all. Anything outside the internet and blingy birthday parties was apparently dull and boring.
I just sat there wishing I had all this cutting-edge frivolity when I was a kid. Reflecting on my school era , Man! My bygone lifetime seemed to suck! You can call it a shame if you want but I got my email ID only when I was in ninth grade..and matter-of-fact, it was accidental. Moreover, it had no real use till I got into college. I still remember the night that I spent sleepless because of the uncontrollable excitement I was filled with from seeing one of the most incredible things on Earth – Yahoo Greetings! God, what an idiot!
Sometimes I wonder whether life would be any different if I had been in some other school, lived somewhere else with resources available at want.. If I had had projects to work on instead of having to write “Dictation words” ten times for homework. If I had had a cool teacher with who I could discuss the Bermuda Triangle instead of having to listen to long winded complaints of her arthritis and the daughter-in-law. If I hadn’t have to wait till next Christmas or Easter to buy a couple of Archie comics at a raddiwalla’s, fulfilling my greatest obligation as a patron.. If.. If.. If.. Would it?
Was I then the frog in the small pond that never knew the ways of the stream or the town? I don’t know. But, even so, I don’t think I carry regrets. My time as a kid was fun in its own way.. So what if I didn’t get to go to pool parties? I enjoyed carrying home water pots from across the street. (A tip: Carrying it on your shoulder is more convenient, trust me. I never got the hip-way hang!) I climbed hills barefoot, I helped burn dead snakes, I’ve had four years of experience, being squeezed and squelched in crowded buses on the way to school and back, I ran around with goats, got stamped a couple of times by calves, I was even taught the clandestine knack of holding the ‘poonthudappam’! .. Man, I can think of a truckload of studd things!! Wow!
Guess, I have had more fun as a kid than Surrender could ever imagine.. and umm..No, I’m not trading it.. Not even for a free-for-lifetime broadband internet service. .