Undeserving Willows By Watercourses

Yet another birthday. Yet another blogpost. The day came and went, and nothing has really happened. And three days later, I am back to work with the remains of an extinguished limelight and waned excitement. Sigh. [not of relief].

It was fun - friends, family, food and all those nice things. But I was still missing God. My relationship with Him has been a bit flaky for sometime now. 
So, it was day before birthday-day, and I resolved to set it right with God. I thought I could do a smooth move by making sure that He was the first peron I spoke to on my birthday, at 00:00 hours. Friends might call (Coz i had begged them to), but I would not talk to them till I spoke, at least for a couple of minutes, with God. And did I? No. I failed. Like the one million times before. After jumping to answer calls - midnight, pre, and post - my head finally dug its way through the pillow to meet up with the Maker around one o'clock. And all I could feel was a sweeping wave of shame. And I slept off.

Lately, my quiet times last less than two minutes. The bookmark in my Bible has probably moved only two pages further in the last two weeks. My journal has been untouched for more than a month now. Unfaithful, complacent, and undeserving I am and He is still faithful, understanding, and unconditionally loving.

Grace is an amazing thing, I know. But it only rubs in the shame a lot, I guess. Some wise band once sang : The beauty of Grace is that it makes life not fair. I can only completely agree. 


Right now, I could be picking thou's of the pieces of promises I have broken. 
Not He. He still promises and He still keeps. There, He did it again. On my birthday, He promised me that I would be like Willows by watercourses*... That I belong to Him... 

I am really thankful to Him for that... just as much as I am ashamed. And there is just one prayer that I have to offer. A prayer someone else prayed centuries ago.

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches,

but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’

Or I may become poor and steal,

and so dishonor the name of my God. 

 Amen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Isaiah 44 : 4, 5 
 .... and they will spring up among the grass, as willows by the watercourses.

One will say, 'I am Yahweh's;' ....

Frivolously Yours,

The last two weeks have been pretty damp. Too much rain, and if you cut out the travel to work part, it is one of the most beautiful things to ever happen to the Earth.

Reflections... and a fortnight back these waters didn't even exist.

  Jimmis had come over for the weekend and we took a walk around. The sky was beautiful, the mountains looked fresh, the trees looked like cars back from a car-wash, the air smelled great. What so much rain could do to the neighborhood. It was picture perfect.

Okay, my freezing the moment skills are 

nowhere near perfect, but still..

Loved the different blues. Just loved it.

 .

And those beautiful fungi things. Cute.

Back To Bloglam

Whoa, it has been a long hiatus. No, it was not planned. Not writer’s block, no. I am not even half a writer. A powerful combination of unbelievable dreadlines + lazinesss + an overlaod of reality kept me from writing. From even thinking sane things.

Okay, let’s leave the past behind and focus on the thing at hand namely, I am back. But without any essential life theories at the moment. So, I shall resort to my strong suit. I give you, Rants on Reality.

My office has shifted temporarily to an even farther place. I take the ECR to work. You know, the East Coast Road , that overlooks the beautiful sea. Just traveling one way is enough to take your breath away! (Okay, the actual sentence should be : I take a crowded bus that takes the ECR. And I am left breathless because atleast 2 tobacco chewing women smother their bosoms all over my face for the entire journey due to lack of moving space in the bus)

Anyway, my new place sucks worse than the old. My boss now sits right behind me and shoulder surfs my monitor like once every 3.8 minutes. This evil ritual he performs has bound me from doing fun things a.k.a non-work-related things on the computer.

And I continue to hate work. New place, new commute route, new washroom – nothing seems to change my loathing toward work.

Outside of that, it has been raining like crazy for the last 10 days. Which means dirtier buses, dirtier roads, dirtier toenails. No, there aren’t any sidewalks in Tamil Nadu and no, i don’t wear gumboots to work either.

Well, life is very much the same… except that I have clean toenails when it is not raining. Oh, and my birthday is coming up!! \0/ … Totally pumped!! Woohoo!! Or, maybe not.

Do birthdays really matter when you are turning 24? and are still single? and have hands wrinklier than your grandmama’s?