Frivolously Yours,

Okay, Christmas season is here! I really love this time of the year. There is some kind of love-ey feeling in the air I guess. Or maybe it is just me. Whatever!
Anyway, The star is out... The tree and the manger are under construction and maybe for Christmas this year, I am going to ask Santa for snow.
                     
                                              -------------------------------------


Okay, I just wanted to post these pictures. That is the Kolava lake near Chengalpattu. It looked beautiful from the train. There is something about waters, isn't there?

Undeserving Willows By Watercourses

Yet another birthday. Yet another blogpost. The day came and went, and nothing has really happened. And three days later, I am back to work with the remains of an extinguished limelight and waned excitement. Sigh. [not of relief].

It was fun - friends, family, food and all those nice things. But I was still missing God. My relationship with Him has been a bit flaky for sometime now. 
So, it was day before birthday-day, and I resolved to set it right with God. I thought I could do a smooth move by making sure that He was the first peron I spoke to on my birthday, at 00:00 hours. Friends might call (Coz i had begged them to), but I would not talk to them till I spoke, at least for a couple of minutes, with God. And did I? No. I failed. Like the one million times before. After jumping to answer calls - midnight, pre, and post - my head finally dug its way through the pillow to meet up with the Maker around one o'clock. And all I could feel was a sweeping wave of shame. And I slept off.

Lately, my quiet times last less than two minutes. The bookmark in my Bible has probably moved only two pages further in the last two weeks. My journal has been untouched for more than a month now. Unfaithful, complacent, and undeserving I am and He is still faithful, understanding, and unconditionally loving.

Grace is an amazing thing, I know. But it only rubs in the shame a lot, I guess. Some wise band once sang : The beauty of Grace is that it makes life not fair. I can only completely agree. 


Right now, I could be picking thou's of the pieces of promises I have broken. 
Not He. He still promises and He still keeps. There, He did it again. On my birthday, He promised me that I would be like Willows by watercourses*... That I belong to Him... 

I am really thankful to Him for that... just as much as I am ashamed. And there is just one prayer that I have to offer. A prayer someone else prayed centuries ago.

Keep falsehood and lies far from me;

give me neither poverty nor riches,

but give me only my daily bread.

Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you

and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’

Or I may become poor and steal,

and so dishonor the name of my God. 

 Amen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Isaiah 44 : 4, 5 
 .... and they will spring up among the grass, as willows by the watercourses.

One will say, 'I am Yahweh's;' ....

Frivolously Yours,

The last two weeks have been pretty damp. Too much rain, and if you cut out the travel to work part, it is one of the most beautiful things to ever happen to the Earth.

Reflections... and a fortnight back these waters didn't even exist.

  Jimmis had come over for the weekend and we took a walk around. The sky was beautiful, the mountains looked fresh, the trees looked like cars back from a car-wash, the air smelled great. What so much rain could do to the neighborhood. It was picture perfect.

Okay, my freezing the moment skills are 

nowhere near perfect, but still..

Loved the different blues. Just loved it.

 .

And those beautiful fungi things. Cute.

Back To Bloglam

Whoa, it has been a long hiatus. No, it was not planned. Not writer’s block, no. I am not even half a writer. A powerful combination of unbelievable dreadlines + lazinesss + an overlaod of reality kept me from writing. From even thinking sane things.

Okay, let’s leave the past behind and focus on the thing at hand namely, I am back. But without any essential life theories at the moment. So, I shall resort to my strong suit. I give you, Rants on Reality.

My office has shifted temporarily to an even farther place. I take the ECR to work. You know, the East Coast Road , that overlooks the beautiful sea. Just traveling one way is enough to take your breath away! (Okay, the actual sentence should be : I take a crowded bus that takes the ECR. And I am left breathless because atleast 2 tobacco chewing women smother their bosoms all over my face for the entire journey due to lack of moving space in the bus)

Anyway, my new place sucks worse than the old. My boss now sits right behind me and shoulder surfs my monitor like once every 3.8 minutes. This evil ritual he performs has bound me from doing fun things a.k.a non-work-related things on the computer.

And I continue to hate work. New place, new commute route, new washroom – nothing seems to change my loathing toward work.

Outside of that, it has been raining like crazy for the last 10 days. Which means dirtier buses, dirtier roads, dirtier toenails. No, there aren’t any sidewalks in Tamil Nadu and no, i don’t wear gumboots to work either.

Well, life is very much the same… except that I have clean toenails when it is not raining. Oh, and my birthday is coming up!! \0/ … Totally pumped!! Woohoo!! Or, maybe not.

Do birthdays really matter when you are turning 24? and are still single? and have hands wrinklier than your grandmama’s?

Jon and I

Same pinch, Jon. Only that in my case, I have the Z bubble over my head too.

Frivolously yours,

You have to watch this!


Compressed 02 from Kim Pimmel on Vimeo.


The write up said the maker had kept a magnet in a dish of soap bubbles and kept some kind of liquid ferro stuff  in the edge... So they would get attracted by the magnet and run in. The capillary action is spectacular! Beautifully captured.. and the food color effects are just awesome..

Prayer of an Unknown Confederate Soldier

I read this somewhere. Beautiful. It was titled 'Prayer of an Unknown Confederate Soldier'. It is also called the 'Creed of the Disabled'.

I asked for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I asked for
but everything that I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered,
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

Turning over tables.

I was listening to 'Jealous Kind' by Jars of Clay on my way back after work a couple of days back. It is a beautiful song. On our unfaithfulness and His abounding grace. I should have listened to the song some 70 times before but that evening those lines pounded hard at the gates of the heart.

"While you're turning over tables with a rage of jealous kind"

Yeah, it is a reference to the cleaning of the temple in Mark. 

^{Mark 11: 15 - 17
15} So they came to Jerusalem. Then Jesus went into the temple and began to drive out those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves.
¹⁶ And He would not allow anyone to carry wares through the temple.
¹⁷ Then He taught, saying to them, “Is it not written, ‘My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations’? But you have made it a ‘den of thieves.’”

He was walking through Jerusalem and He saw they had made a mess of the temple. His temple.
He didn't ignore it and walk past.
He didn't stand teary eyed, looking at it from outside wishing the temple walls would cry out for a cleaning.
He just went inside, walked right through and overturned tables.


Am I not your temple, Lord?
Did we not agree on making my heart your sanctuary that day I finally opened up in response to your knocks?
Well, now, we both know I have made it a den of thieves, Lord. A den of filthy thoughts, dead faith, arrogance, lies and idolatry. 
But Lord, You are the same forever, right? Yesterday - Today- Tomorrow- To eternity  the same, right? So, why don't you just please walk in and turn over the tables? I can't do it on my own, Lord. I don't have the strength to. 
But You can. You did it 2000 years ago... I hope you do it today. Hope you do it now. 

A Song of Praise

Do we sing as much as the birds do?
Yet what have birds to sing about, compared with us?

Think you, do we sing as much as the angels do?
yet were they never redeemed by the blood of Christ.

Birds of the air, shall ye excel me?
Angels of heaven, shall ye exceed me?

Ye have done so, but I do intend to emulate you henceforth,
and day by day, and night by night, pour forth my soul in sacred song.

- Charles Spurgeon

How well do you know the Bible?

It is Sabbath and I abstain from doing anything non-Godly. Here are some purely theological stuff ( they are from the Bible, for Heaven's sake) that I stumbled upon and am totally convicted to share.

Shalom!

During what season did Eve eat the forbidden fruit?
Early in the Fall.

Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Who was the first canning factory run by?
Noah - he had a boatful of preserved pairs.

How do we know Abraham was smart?
He knew a Lot.

Where in the Bible is tennis mentioned?
In Genesis: Moses served in Pharaoh’s courts.

What was the first medical prescription described in the Bible?
When God told Moses to take two tablets and call him in the morning.

Who was the shortest man in the Bible?

Some folks think it was Knee-High Miah (Nehemiah), but actually, it was Bildad
the shoe-height (Shuhite).

Who was the first dog mentioned in the Bible?
Moreover: “Moreover, the Dog came and licked his sores.”

Love is...

Joy is love exulting, and peace is love at rest;
Patience, love enduring in every trial and test.


Gentleness, love yielding to all that is not sin,
Goodness, love in actions that flow from Christ within.


Faith is love's eyes opened the living Christ to see;
Meekness, love not fighting, but bowed at Calvary.


Temperance , love in harness and under Christ's control,
For Christ is Love in person,
and Love, Christ in the soul.

Dr. Kenneth Moynagh.

Valiant Spaceman Spiff

Oh Calvin, Oh Calvin! I really cannot decide who I love more. You or Hobbes... or Garfield.

Codecademy

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Programmer-wannabes

Check this out : http://www.codecademy.com

They say that this is a fun way to learn programming. Looks like you get points, rewards, trophies (and Ribbons?? ) when you're done with a level and you get to share your achievements with your friends . You don't need to sign up till they prompt you after a few lessons. And well, it's only after you sign up that the sharing features work, I presume. So, probably, it will more like playing farmville than doing a boring programming tutorial, and that sure should be fun. If you ask me for a personal opinion, er.. I haven't tried it. :P

I just tried the start-up lesson. It only took a few minutes. And by the looks of it, It should be really good. Maybe you should check it out after all.

Oh, and did you notice that new option that YouTube has come up with so you can directly start the watch-together video hangout session? Much easy, right? Given that I haven't even done a regular hangout before! What kind of friends do I have!!

Somewhere inside the mind, in Megan Fox voice : You know, that start a google+ hangout thing was a pretty smooth move.

* Oh dang! YouTube and google+ are siblings, aren't they?*

Let the games begin

Let the games begin

So, Google+ has lit the torch and the games have begun. Has it been there from the morning or yesterday? I only checked now.

Right now my page shows 9 games... including Angry Birds(yoohoo! even though it sucks the non-touch way on PC's) and Zynga Poker. Sure they're thinking of adding much more. I think I recently read something about Google planning on bringing in Sudoku and other games too. And that is it nicer than the way facebook handles game apps. Google+ lets you control your gaming activities separately, in the Games page. That way your stream doesn't get flooded. As if it is now!

I like that. See, organized, minimal, typical Google. That's one reason I always love Google.

Lemme go back and look at my Google+ games page, which I can bet all my money, has no activity right now.  =/

Restless

Lately, I have been listening to 'Restless' by Jon Foreman. On repeat. For hours together. It is a lovely song and trust me, the song's really very deep. 


Confession : I don't know what it means when they say a song is deep. But they say it all the time when a song is very good and worth listening repeatedly for 3 continuous hours everyday. I am just recycling.

So, it is a very deep song that will come out in the album 'Vice verses' this September. Switchfoot is one of my most favortite bands and they've got that je nei sais quoi that makes them and their songs totally awesome. When we are all in heaven, I think God'll organize switchfoot concerts every full moon, no moon and fourth Sabbath. 

When foreman makes songs, it isn't just with words and music... He makes it with life and soul. It is such a beautiful union when the life and soul of the song meets the life and soul of the listener.
Aha! I have used 'life and soul' three times in 2 sentences. And I feel like a music critic there. Bravo!

So, This is Jon singing 'Restless' with his singer Sister-in-law, Sarah Masen. 
No doubt you'll play it on repeat too.

I'm watch

I am a computer engineer, and if you have read atleast one other post of mine, you would know I hate it. But five years along the road, and only now I am realizing that technology has been one of my turn ons. And though I hate my job, regret doing an engineering degree, I think i shouldn't let that overshadow my interest in nice-y, cool inanimate concepts and things. Hence this post, and hence a new category to blog about.

I stumbled upon this mighty cool gear, and my wishlist just got a bit longer. And though I don't know why you would want an old android version OS running phone like thing which isn't actually a phone tied to your wrist, I'm watch is awesome.
Can i be a little girlish now and say, "Awww, look at those colors!"?

You can call, email, comment on miserable pictures of your miserable friends (who don't have this cool smartwatch) on FB by connecting it with your smartphone (which you probably bought for the same price as the watch) via bluetooth. And... well, that's it I guess. Oh hey, hang on, it also shows time.

The phone that I have right now is cheaper than the watch and my brain has already come up with 280 reasons* why I should not buy I'm watch. But if any of you secret admirers want to send me a gift, ummm, I think I like the green one.

This is i'm watch's website and they let you preorder
http://www.imwatch.it/

* Reasons 1 ~ 279 : You don't have the money, dang!
   Reason 280 : Your pa is so not giving you money for that.

Teary thanks.

I happened to watch Anu Hasan's show on TV today - kannadi. They were talking about people with physical / intellectual disabilities. There were special people on the show- 5 yrs old, 25, 35... physically disabled, hurt in their hearts, abused and mocked at. And yet, they were happy.  I could barely swallow my food. I was drinking as much water I could to keep myself from crying. They sure would have had their tough times. But they didn't go on cribbing about that.

And me? Here I am... complaining... Complaining that my office is 50 metres away from the bus stop and my legs hurt to walk. Complaining that my brain has too much to think about. Complaining that my hair gets messy by the time I reach work. Complaining that my nails grow fast. What the heck, really!

Coming to think of it, I have never been thankful for what I have been given. For the perfectly functioning hands and feet. For the mind that can think, react, rest. For my voice, for my laughter, for my happiness.
 I have only griped. Griped for trifles. Griped for things I don't even care about. Oh, I am so ashamed of myself.

S.

Springs, fountains and horses.

I am not desperate for a marriage. Not even close. But I wish there was someone to who I could sing "un paarvaiyil or aayiram... " and actually mean the words. I wish there was someone who would write Song of Mr.Perfect over me. Yeah, like the Song of Solomon, but a bit less explicit, perhaps.
Oh I wish there was a wishing well so I could wish all these wishes. *Dear Lord! Did i just write THAT?*

Come on, I am 23, and single, and looking. But maybe I am only allowed to be 23 and single. Maybe the looking part is not meant for me to do. And maybe I should shut up about the whole thing. I mean, my best friends are still single. (That could mean my friends are losers like me, but I shall stick to the point). But they don't go to such desperate depths of blowing their noses on a blogpost about their singletude.

Yeah, so what if most of my college juniors are committed, or the people I've mentally noted as "will never find a guy in this lifetime" are hanging out with Rob Pattinson look alikes? I don't care. Maybe like Chit often tells me, I am a spring shut up.. a fountain sealed. God knows my address and my phone number and if He wants to hear me sing love songs to someone, He himself will send to me the you of Lay my love on you. If God had badly wanted to see my relationship status on Facebook as 'in a relationship', He'd have got me a job with some matrimonial site's web development team, not with this morbid office where I don't like anyone. (The converse of which also holds perfectly true)

So, someday when the prince is supposed to come on his snow white horse, he will. And till then, I am going to shut my mouth, and hold my horses... and maybe not listen to MWS.

Blimey!

We have an upper room in the house. No, we don't use it for having theological discussions. Our hands are already full with our mundane routine and don't think we can take the time off to nurse some brother's broken rib or something. This upper room of ours is used to dump things that we have never used in life, or things that we have once used in life and never after, or things we have so used we can't use them anymore. Or in technical jargon, junk.

My mom made me clean the room today. There was enough cobweb to weave clothes for a town, really. And there were a few old things there that made me go : "Wow! How hi-fi we've become!". Maybe you'll too.

Food carriers. 1990 B.T. *

Remember those cassette things?? Those tape filled plastic cases that could produce  music?? Yeah, before the  advent of  mp'3.. m4a's.. mp999's..

* B.T. : Before Tupperware.

Did you recently come across anything that sent you 'Blimey!'?

Frivolously yours,

Through more than a year and a half of disgust-filled work, truckloads of cribbing and rock bottom levels of self-confidence, here I am , looking forward to another weekend. Mmmm... the smell of laziness. Awesome.

And before I shut my eyes into 13 straight hours of sleep, let me get to the point.

I am writing this coz coming back from work, I was listening to Switchfoot's Yesterdays. Had been quite long since I'd listened to it. It is still as beautiful as ever. Miss you, gramps...

 If you haven't listened to it yet, check this out

And also, lately I have been finding it very hard to control laughing out loud at work, thanks to www.thegoodgreatsby.com
Check that one, too.

Good night, world.

Saying “I’ll ask God that when I’m in heaven.” | Stuff Christians Like – Jon Acuff

You gotta check this out. SCL is my most fav blog, and this is one of my most fav topics.

Saying “I’ll ask God that when I’m in heaven.” | Stuff Christians Like – Jon Acuff

Btw, Guys, 'Pease pudding in the pot, nine days old...' (which was the title of this blog, if you hadn't noticed)  has been rechristened, for various reasons, as 'Shaken, Stirred and Spilled'.
One of those various reasons is that it is tediously long. Okay, I confess, that is the only reason. And I don't know why the new name is what it is now. It just occurred.
 I don't believe you always need to name someone / something to mean something. Like, for instance, I don't believe that Ryan Sidebottom's surname has anything to do with sided bottoms.

PS : No, no, no, I am not going to post martini making tips on this blog. I have never drunk a martini - stirred or shaken. I've just heard those words in Bond movies.  Rest assured, This blog will continue to host nonsense.

Frivolously yours,

When I started Frivolously yours, I thought I would be writing twice a week, atleast. Now I notice that this is just the second post and it has been more than a month already. Great pace.

So, right now I am reading this book - Prayer - Asking and Receiving, by John R. Rice. And I highly recommend it. It is very very inspiring. You gotta check it out.

It was this year's Mission Festival Sunday at church. Had a very great time there. Mission Stuff has always been close to my heart. The urge keeps hammering inside the head and heart every single day. But, I don't think I can afford any more arguments with my parents. and so, I am scared it will cease to blare now that I am suppressing it as hard as possible.

Also, it has been sometime since I watched a good movie. Maybe I should squeeze some time off for life.

google+ and @doushichan

This post is dedicated to @doushichan

So, it's 3 days since I joined google+, which means this post is 3 days overdue. I was probably one of the reasons for the 'insane demand' that halted the google+ invitations... You know, butterfly effect and all that.
And maybe because i was seeing a handful of cats the last few days, (Remember those cat - curiosity adages?) I desperately wanted to see what was Googy's new surprise.

So I kept googling realtime results for the invites (at work, of course) and @doushichan tweeted he had invites to anyone who wanted. I promised him I'd write a post on him if he sent me one. He sent me one and here's me keeping my word.

Lo, and behold... the promised post.

Thanks mucho, @doushichan. You will forever be remembered.

Os kitties

My mom loves feeding stray cats and turning the house into a cat shelter. One kitty that she recently added to the fold has delivered babies. There's three of them and I think I'm gonna call them Heathcliff, Snowbell and Minerva in honour of the... namesakes. Ah, no, no Garfield coz I love him too much to name a white / grey cat after him.

So, Here.. If you care.

That'd be Snowbell

And, Minerva and Heathcliff huddled in the corner.

Liza Donnelly: Drawing upon humor for change | Video on TED.com

This was something I saw on TED and thought I had to do my part in spreading it around. Yeah, I know I get like 2 hits/week but still... MY PART.

Liza Donnelly: Drawing upon humor for change | Video on TED.com

Frivolously yours,

Frivolously yours, is going to be a section where I shall ramble shortly about random, stupid thoughts that vroom across the various lobes of my brain which, in real life, none of my friends would care to listen.  Wow! That is probably the longest sentence I have written in 23 years! My writing skills are picking up!!

- Borrowed from Jim, from The Office, and mean every word of it : Because right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train. 

- I really wish I would learn not to hate work this much. Really.

- Man, this haircut! With the hair in front falling over my eyes, dang, I feel like Hugh Grant!

You name it.

South Indian last names suck. Firstly because there is no concept of last names. Secondly, well, I can't think of anything. So drop that. So what we (huh!) modern South Indians do is use the husband / dad's second given name as our surname (though it sounds like a perfect first name).

I have always been scared of marrying someone with a horrible second given name which would ruin it all for me. Imagine! Mrs. Sharon Selladurai... Mrs. Sharon Jeyasekaran... Ew!

Is there some way I can keep this nightmare from coming to pass? Absolutely! There's this guy at my workplace, karthikeyan. And guess how he tells people to call him? No, not Karthik. Not even Karthi. It is 'Ke-yaan'. Yeah, the same way you would say K'Naan's name. Well, if Karthikeyan could change his horrible name to something as cool as that, Bring it on, folks!!

So what if I marry Thomas Arockiaraj?
This could well be a sentence I would hear often :
                                       Oh Hello there,  Mrs. Ockiar.

Or if it is one Sanjeev Duraisingh?
My son's teacher might just call out 'Leo Ben-Aising'.

Whoa! With such swell last names, I could even tell people my husband's great grandfather was on Schindler's list!

Way to go, self.. Way to go!

P.S : Do you think I am shallow? Then, either you have a cool last name already or you have such bad taste.

Singletude Sorrows

Chit is 44 (And trust me, She hardly looks half her 44 years). I am 23. We both can make a cover version of 'Y-O-U-N-G, F-R-Double E and and and single'. The one big difference between Chit and me is that she is the happiest single woman I have met in life, while I probably am the most griping single woman ever.

Chit never longs for Prince Charming to come galloping on a pink unicorn nor does she listen to Crying over you on repeat. When I ask her how she manages a balanced, non-whining single life, she says it's grace. Oh, no, no way. Chit doesn't Jesus juke. Ever. She has an awesome relationship with God and is almost half as sarcastically humorous as He. So that's absolutely no juke and she fully means it to be true and real.

I on the other hand, kick and scream and complain and sulk about my singletude. (Somebody appreciate my word building skills). I am tired of being single. I tell myself it is time I made the transition from Stuck on you to Gone on my playlist and perhaps choke on some apple and wait to hear horse hooves.

Or should I wait for an old lost love? Everytime I bring up Bruce in a conversation, BeyondMadness quotes Prov 26 : 11 - As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.  Maybe she is right, as always. Maybe in the process of clinging to the 'True love perseveres' principle, I am actually returning to vomit (Margin Notes: I pray I never have to write that inside **... EW!). Bruce is under the spell of the wicked witch of the north, and will probably take forever and a day to come back to right senses and me.

In other news, my parents and many relatives I had no idea existed before have concluded that I am of 'marriageable age' now. And that I need to marry ASAP and produce kids before I am 27 or my kids will all have Down's Syndrome! I mean, What on Earth!!

I don't want to marry now, people!! I want to be in love, not marriage! I don't wear eternity on my sleeve and so like all my sane friends advise, guess I need to leave the life and times of Bruce behind and live my own. But, live my own how? I can't seem to find anyone I could 'grow old with'! All those boat loads of love songs there and not a guy to sing one to me? All the people out there whose relationship status is committed and mine is still single? My Pa recharges my phone credit like once or twice a month... All my friends who have boyfriends get theirs recharged once every week... by their guys!

Maybe God hasn't given me the grace to pull through this singletude phase like He gave Chit? Well, God, if so... can you send a guy instead of grace?

P.S. :  Yet not my will, but Thine.

Gatumba Massacre

Someone I know was stationed in Congo, Africa with the UN Peace keeping force a few years back. He brought back pictures of the 2004 Gatumba camp massacre. Movies like blood diamond, Hotel Rwanda are under-statemental. These pictures are kinda disturbing...

I don't really know what to think. Hope all these souls find rest in Heaven above and for us, here, guess this is the best we can do - Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. (Ephesians 5:2)

Gentleness... evident, et al.

 If you care to know how irate and fussy I can get, join me when I commute to work by bus. I hate myself when I'm on a crowding bus. I hate everyone around me - the fat lady, the sweaty guy, the beardy old man, the wailing kid. Aaargh! I throw nasty looks at them when someone steps on my foot. I fix my face in an angry-irritated-ugly cast and constantly clench my teeth. I just hate all these people. Just hate them. Won't all these jerks be wiped away from the planet!!
 I was reading Philippians chapter four the other day. I like Paul a lot. Yeah, Paul of the hanky-apron-healing fame... My love for Paul didn't come through years of memory verse reciting in Sunday school. It was much like a tamil movie plot before the interval.  (In case you are dying of curiosity, this is how I came to love Paul )
 Am I digressing? Okay. So I was reading Philippians 4 and this one verse stared me on my face.
    Let your gentleness be evident to all... Phil 4:5

Does that mean I need to be nice and kind and smile-y to the dirty bloke who smells like a 100 tasmac shops? and to the lady who is lavishly sitting on her seat plus 3/4ths of mine?

Maybe Paul, and God, really mean the "evident to all" gentleness business... but maybe there are some reservations.. Maybe on crowding buses, maybe.

What's in a name?!

Near my town is a place called 'thanneer pandhal' which literally translates to 'water shed'. I always thought it was weird to name a residential area 'Water Shed'. I even thought it was the weirdestly named place to live in... till I saw where Bryan Allain- yeah, the Bryan Allain-  lived.

He lives in Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

Please tell me i am not the only pervert on this planet.

For Grampa

I am the kind of person who wouldn't cry at funerals. Or so I thought till grandpa died. Today is the tenth day without thatha at home. The house seems smaller without him. I miss his jokes, his songs and lots of other things. And I think I will miss them forever.
It's not like the 'man, will miss all this' that you tell yourself  standing in the college bathroom on your last day there. You wouldn't really miss it. Even if you did, you can always take a couple of days off of work, go visit your alma mater and use that toilet. But I suppose, when you miss a dead grandpa, you really miss him.You will miss his jokes, his songs and lots of other things. And I think you will miss them forever.

Guess he is up there in Heaven now... probably reading this blog post along with St. Paul or perhaps Job. Or maybe even Solomon, if he made it to heaven that is.

So, well, there's only one thing I can say sitting here in your room, thatha-
     R.I.P... Miss you.

Giving Up's

I was lying awake on my bed at 6:40 this morning. For a few days now, I have been trying to get up early (6:20 is valid early) so I can pray and read the Bible for atleast sometime. This morning the bed was a little too tempting and I couldn't bring myself to flex my muscles and get out from under the cozy blanket.

I decided I would pray lying on my back and whispered toward Heaven above : I am giving up my sleep for You, Father God. Speak to me.

I think I heard some voice not in my ear but somewhere inside the head, a gentle yet strong voice : I gave my son for you. Speak to me.

I got up out of bed.

That was quite a message for the morning. For many mornings of a lifetime, i guess.

Switch My Foot!

One of my favorite Switchfoot songs is 'Faust, Midas and myself'. I have caught myself singing the lines "what direction, what direction, What direction now?" from that song like 200 times. (Trust me on the stats). That is an awesome band - Switchfoot. Wiki says that Jon Foreman took the term 'switchfoot' for the band from surfing to mean change and movement in life and music.

Well, change and movement are exactly the very things I want in life right now. Only a post earlier I was griping about how i wanted to do something passionately with all my heart. I am almost 97% set to switch careers. And have tried my parents to get to 20%. But what the switching career will be, I have no idea. My parents aren't happy (at all) with my wanting to work with less privileged people, leaving my "IT job". They think teaching engineering students will be a much worthy profession. But, O my soul, that's not where you lie... Sigh.

I don't know what two months after today is going to be. Que sera sera? Or should I gather the guts to learn to surf. and switch-foot.

Whilst I plunge into confused waters again, watch Switchfoot performing Faust, midas and myself with Spanish subtitles.. (This is the best live I could find on youtube)

A beautiful mind... who cares!

I watched the movie, A Beautiful Mind when I was in college and a 100 movies later, it still is easily on my five most favorites. I loved everything about it - The plot, cast, the direction, just everything. I badly wanted to be John Nash. I even pretended to be John Nash. Googled all possible anxiety disorders, and hoped I would show symptoms of atleast one. Almost all geniuses are weirdos, aren't they? And so I badly wanted some autism symptom - Maybe I could be a genius. Maybe I could be in Princeton.

 Actually, I didn't want to be in Princeton so i could write dissertations that would "fly in the face of a 150 years of economic theory". Nah. I just.. wanted to be there. Maybe so I could add 'Princeton University' in my Facebook profile's schools column, i guess.

Where am I going? This is not what I intended to ramble about.
So, I saw the movie again a week back. And it sank in - I am not John Nash. Let's face it. I am not even male! and for the first time, all my thoughts were about Alicia, the wife.
[For all you smartypants who checked wiki for John and Alicia's personal lives - I'm only writing about how the MOVIE affected me, Get it?]
 Okay, now, anyone can bet their, umm, assets that Alicia should have been a real intelligent girl to take up courses at MIT. And she probably had huge dreams, goals and all those terms they use in personality development lectures. I mean, I have dreams. An average, small town, can't solve linear equations for nuts girl... and I have dreams of coming up with some quantum physics theory that will beat Hawking's by a margin of 14 pages. (Interesting trivia:  Fourteen is my favorite number).

That being said, the question is : What happened to all those dreams after marriage? She takes care of her husband, changes her baby's diapers, cooks, cleans and works in someplace that will give her enough time for the other tasks above? You marry, put aside all your fantasies and work for the welfare of the family? And the two shall become one implies that the wife no longer has a self and lives her husband's dream? Is that it?

I don't know why I let a movie get so much into my head. I usually only let cartoon shows go that far.

I don't like Nash's beautiful mind anymore. I don't care about Princeton. I don't know why I didn't just sit back and enjoy the movie. I don't know why I was / am thinking about the fictional life of some lady I will never meet in life. I don't know why I am writing this post.

                           Bottom line, literally : I am getting old.

P.S : I am really sorry you had to read this post.

Forgetting not all His benefits

I should have posted this three days back. But then, it is never too late to extend gratitude. So, here's a big THANK YOU, LORD... for being there.

Last sunday, the last sunday of last year (Wow! I could write poems!), dad preached on 'Things we need to forget and the things that we need to NOT forget'. It was one of those sermons that sent me thinking, and thinking deeply.

Last year was pretty eventful. Loaded, actually. And just as He had promised, His compassions never failed... Great was His faithfulness.

He was there, by my side, even as I fell off a buoy into the sea, almost drowning to death. He made one of my biggest dreams as a kid come to pass - I climbed the Corcovado to see 'Christ, the Redeemer'. If the statue of Christ could be so magnificent, How much more would He really be! It was humbling.

He brought me to a great church, and stood by my side when I made lots of new friends. He amazed me every day with incredible things! He filled my days with so much laughter and happiness.

 So much as He held my hands through fun and lighter moments, He held me in His heart through rough tides. I can never be thankful enough for His ever-loving arms that wrapped me in when I fell out of love. Through my incessant ramblings and questions and despair, He never once left my side. He showered forgiveness over me and healed all scars.

He gave beauty for ashes, gladness for mourning, joy, peace and a whole bunch of Other uber cool things. He gave me breath, and He gave me Himself.

So here I am at the start of another year, forgetting what I need to forget and for everything i need to remember, Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord O my soul and forget not all His benefits.