Never Alone

Disclaimer: Well, this may be a boring entry, but then this is a 'baseless rant'. What more can one expect!

I haven't replied 'alone'  to a 'How are you?' question in all these years ... Though I have been. Right in the midst of a swelling crowd... of friendly laughter and fun. You play the cheerful part... and desperately try to mingle, forcing an empty smile. You don't want your friends to know. You don't even want to feel it for yourself. But deep down, you can't keep from thinking that the one person you know to stand by you no matter what, seems to be far. Nowhere near.

He's just not around. You can't even cry out to anyone; He's the one you've been crying to all this long. No one else knows you better than Him. And you wonder if He just did leave you... Alone...

Maybe I'm wrong... Maybe I just failed to see. Failed to do what He asked me to - Believe.

I've loved this song from BarlowGirl - Never Alone. Just a reminder that no matter how far He might 'seem' from me, I am never alone.

Ohhh, He knew it!

It's been sometime since this happened. I was thinking about it today and just thought I'd write. One of my most favorite songs like 5-6 years back was 'Always' by Mia Fieldes, from More than Life. It was a Friday night in January. I was in Brazil and this song was playing incessantly inside my head. I just couldn't take it off of my mind. I knew it was not on my iPod, and scurried efforts to locate it on my computer failed. I didn't have it. Aargh! I will bang my neighbor's door early tomorrow and get the songs downloaded. I so badly had to listen to it. And now there was this song Consuming Fire by Tim Hughes from the same album that worked its way up there and started playing alongside Always. You know the kind of feeling when every cell in your body wants to do ( in my case - hear) something but you just can't - Ask me about it.

I couldn't access the internet at my neighbors. I woke up all this early for that! Mr. Pres had had forgotten to pay his telephone bill. Why now?? Sweet!! There was a cafe nearby and I wanted to check if it was open. I had to cross Ju's to get there... and she called me over. *Aw man, not now... I wanted to go check something! :( * I was talking to Ju, and her husband pulled over. He was just back from church and promptly stuffed a DVD into my hand. He said a friend from church had given it to him. And as it was English, he wanted me to check it out. I couldn't reply for speechlessness got the better of me - it was the bonus DVD that came with the More than Life Audio CD.

Hurried talks with Ju and Ad and I ran home to watch the DVD.  =/, Only parts of the first few songs played in the background, and all the intro's, skateboarding sequences, Behind the scenes were up. The songs' volume was kinda low coz there was narration, people being interviewed and all that. I was like "God, it was just this close!". Anyway, so I had to go somewhere and download it... I might as well finish watching this whole thing. It went on, and then Always started playing and they were showing the performance - That meant the full song played!! I felt like jumping with joy!
I skipped forward hoping Consuming fire also featured fully. Nope. The song wasn't even there. :( ... Anyway, I was happy (well, partly). Was sort of secretly disappointed the other song I had wanted to listen to wasn't there. I was going to close it and accidentally clicked on one of those 'chapters' listed. Guess what, It was a black-and-white video of Tim's song. Now, what does one have to say to that!

When I told BM about this, she said - Maybe God knew you would want to hear those someday and put them there even when they released it. I hadn't thought of it that way. Maybe God did know it already after all.                      
                      Ohhh, He knew it!!