The Godsend!

It was a monotonous week - the same ritual comprising of three phases: Walk to the morning assembly, Go to the department to mark attendance, Crawl back to the hostel and curl up in bed. I was already tiring from this not-much-to-do routine. It made my brain duller and my thoughts sulkier. I couldn't do anything to keep my energy levels from surging to unknown depths. Somebody, Abolish boredom!

Thanks to BeyondMadness's godsend relatives. They had come down to beat the heat in Covai Coutralam and had pulled over to meet BM, donate charitable amounts of chips and extend a much awaited invitation to join them. For courtesy's sake or whatever, we were too quick to nod yes, and then hurried to FoodZone to buy some food packets.

We then harnessed our efforts to wake Bigatha up from her hibernation and got her also into the cab. Off we sneaked toward the Waterfall. O What joy! The sound of monotony shattering!

There were two families and the three of us. We hiked on, stopping at times, to absorb the mystic beauty of nature. I've been there twice before. But each time seemed as beautiful as ever. And this time, it felt even more refreshing because just a few hours back and ages past from there, I was nibbling a very low morale.
We walked and walked, listening to many different sounds in varying decibels. It was a very, very nice feeling - Being surrounded by trees and birds and insects, all forgetting uneventful courses of life and happily swaying or chirping the moment away.

The sound of water flowing ('Gushing' would be exaggerating) down the rocks was spirit-lifting. It reminded me of some characteristic of God but I couldn't figure out which. I was just feeling so overwhelmed for reasons I didn't know. Waters really do something magical, don't they?

BeyondMadness, Bigatha and I found ourselves totally drenched, head to toe, enjoying every drop of water falling on us. It seemed to wash all the dreary feelings off me. After almost 40 minutes of ceaseless fun in the water, we climbed up the rock just above to bask for sometime. It was all nice till people standing below moved over and shot peculiar looks at us. I was wondering if our beauty actually did draw that much attention. Not until some woman asked Bigatha and BeyondMadness to shift aside coz they were blocking the flow. Pity, the people below only saw drops trickling where once was fast falling waters! All hail Biggy and BM. They are powerful enough to change the course of water.Not wanting to embarrass ourselves further, we slid down and left for lunch.

We found a good place nearby and settled with 'Veetu Saapadu' and FoodZone's exclusive red-dyed Chilly Parothas. We lazed there for sometime and chanced to see a big crab. I didn't know crabs thrived in falling waters till then. We started off back, heading toward yet another fortnight of habitual unexcitement, Bigatha and myself relishing sourmangaas lathered in salt and chilly powder... Climbing slowly down the mountain, carrying along memories of serenity and enchantment.

Grandmoms and Shoes.

I was of the idea that politics was not this much a kindergarten show. Interesting, Confusing, Disturbing, Dirty, Trying, Hopeless have been some of the adjectives that I've known to precede the word 'Politics', but definitely not 'stupidly annoying'. Atleast not until recently.

Let's talk about some shoes. From when on did 'Soling' become famous? Yeah, Soling as in the sole of a shoe. As far as I know (and I haven't done researches on it yet), The first Political public display of Disaffection, you might say, that became so popular was when that Iraqi Journalist, Muntadar al-Zaidi, flung his shoe at the then US President, George W. Bush during some conference.

Here's news for Indians. Do you seriously think that when parties try to implement Cyber Election Campaigning strategies like they did in the US, there wouldn't be some individual who would try to implement 'Soling'?
Couple of weeks back, a journalist hurled a shoe at Home minister P. Chidambaram, when he was justifying the Tytler issue. And the newest member of the Shoe-Hit community is BJP's Presidential Candidate L.K. Advani. And this time, it was slightly embarassing because it was a party member who soled the Ex-Deputy Prime Minister.
So, what is all this? Some sort of fun game, like 'Who hurls the shoe farthest?' or worse still, 'Which official gets hit the maximum number of times?'. Man, This is just so disgusting.
And just because shoe-throwing was not elegant enough, there's teasing and mockery to go alongwith. Modi calling the Congress an Old Lady, BSP's Akhilesh Das calling Nafisa Ali a grandma, Will this ever stop? Or will these supposed rulers of the country shrink to degenerate forms and start calling each other 'Fatso', 'Shorty', 'Baldy'?

Don't things mature with age? Or has some kind of unknown biological phenomenon erupted inside the heads of homo sapiens without anybody knowing it? Or is it just a syndrome that affects people in politics and to an extent, journalists? And why am I even bothered!!

Somebody, answer me. Or teach those bunch of people some sense.

The Wall from the moon.

Dedicated to my dearly beloved Ms.Allergic-to-Aubergines(AtA).

AtA was arguing with me about the uniqueness of the Great China Wall. The uniqueness being 'The only man-made structure visible from the moon, naked eyed'. That was what her teacher told her, she said.
For my dear AtA and anyone who believes so, I'm sorry to disappoint.

The wall of China is barely visible from space and would be Okay-visible with extremely high resolution lenses. From the Lower earth Orbit, even many God-made, man-made structures cannot be seen properly. As altitude hikes up, you'd slowly zoom out of the sphere and away from structures you were looking at till then.
Earth, from the moon is seen only as an indistinct sphere . I've read that even shapes of countries cannot be figured out from there without proper equipment.Talk about a wall! It is just a myth that The Great Wall of China can be seen from the moon, when your toolkit is a pair of wide-open eyes.
Seems it was Richard Halliburton , the author of 'Second Book of Marvels', who first came up with this honor for the Chinese Wall.But unfortunately for him, it was only late after his death that Space folks succeeded in the first unmanned landing on the moon, and later still, manned ones. So, showering the Great Wall with such a compliment is actually baseless.
Sorry Folks. The Great Wall of China is not a sight-seeing hotspot on the Luna.

The familiar place

This is the place we've arrived at many times before. This is where I've brought you to so often that you would almost feel at home now. I'm sorry we're here again. I haven't been anything you could be proud of. Falling apart, running astray, wounding your heart, having my way - I think I've turned pro there.

Lord, We'll move out? I don't want to be in this place anymore. I'm really sorry I brought you here.

I wonder Lord, How could I have possibly failed to see the love that held you on the tree? The love that you had for me?
Though I fail to appreciate the million miles you walk me through, you still choose to walk forever with me. Though I spurn your unconditional love and run after what I want, you still stand by my side.Waiting. Hoping. even Praying.
You admire me so much you have me carved in your palm. You hide me in the cleft of the rock. God, that seriously is ingenious. Wow! And you cover me under the shadow of your wings. That's beautiful. If it were picket fence, I'd hurt my forehead a dozen times in a day. You call out to me and wait to hear my voice. Oh my God, imagine that. And the most amazing of all, you whisper into my ear that I'm your greatest love. I'm thrilled Lord. You make me feel so special. Make me feel beautiful. Make it all, don't know, divine.


Lord, Thank you. Nothing ever, ever could be more beautiful than your Love.

Between Power and Bliss.

How I wish I never outgrew innocence! How I wish I were ignorant of many things I now know of!
Ignorance is bliss.

Okay, Let's get self-centered, meaning 'Shar-centered' for sometime in this entry. This Knowledge and Ignorance thing is a bit confusing and I'm trying hard to balance them both.
Everyone wants power. To see things, to do things, to change things. Knowledge is Power, Alright. But do I really care? Okay, I agree that the apathy does not apply to the peripheral areas of my life like Math and Physics or Computer science (for the record). Like, when I pour Date syrup in my mug of milk and some of it forms brown patterns on the milk, I 'know' it's because of Surface Tension. And I'm glad that classrooms taught me to 'know' that skyscrapers are tensile, Thanks to Elasticity co-efficient. I understand it would be stupid - tirelessly wondering 'Man! How on Earth does syrup dance on top of the milk instead of happily plunging deep inside'.

Yes, but.. It is even more primitively stupid- eternally answering wringers like 'Why on Earth does Lord Fleeting enjoy every bit of making BBQ with BlackForest? And the meat gets so burnt each time, almost everyday, as they lose track of the grilling time. Lord Fleeting used to love Esmeralda's company. Not any more? Lord Fleeting says he feels so repelled by Esmeralda, why? How far removed Lord Fleeting had become from what he used to be! *Sigh!*

I really wish I never heard the lot of things I get to hear that send me to disappointment mode. Wish I never saw the very many things I get to see that hurt me just too bad. Wish I never had the light of Knowledge shine this bright and intense on the central area of my life.

So, what if knowledge is power? I am maimed, and this power does nothing about it. This power does not change what is happening. This power does not help me from feeling bad. So, then, what use is this power to me?

The only thing this power managed to do was disrupt the bliss! The bliss of not knowing things that make people feel miserable. The bliss of not knowing to see through masks and disguises. The bliss of not having to doubt people. The bliss of trusting everyone completely. The bliss of Ignorance.

Written on some wall : Ignorance is bliss. and right underneath it : I don't know what it means, but I'm happy.

Gratitude? Yes, Please.

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings- Eric Hoffer.

Was just wondering at my own self - Man, was i really thinking this?

It was just last evening that the setting sun made it dawn on me how astray i had let my mind wander the last couple of days. I couldn't believe it myself, but i had turned out into this rude, thankless girl for a few days till yesterday. Not out of choice, of course.Circumstances actually pushed me into ungratefulness. Or that's how I want to think.
So happened that somehow, maybe because of some soul's fervent prayers, I was showered with the type of blessing that gets you to see, hear, watch folks who are this 'Whoa! cool' kind. 'Whoa! cool' would be essentially defined as the elite few, who satisfy one or more of the following conditions
1.Total smarties who do stuff like talking real sense, making things work, 'thinking out of the box', and not using such awkward cliches! The worst part is that when they're done and you wanna say something in admiration, you realize you're not able to coz your jaw is on the floor. Yeah, It dropped when they started and you didn't notice.
2. Folks who are abroad, for studies/ internship/work/ whatever. Folks that know the tricky knacks of shuttling between work and school, managing bills, drawing trust frontiers, most importantly, making parents proud.
3. Folks who know what they are on Earth for, who make life worthwhile with goals and dreams and passions.
4. Folks who are just too darn lucky!

Alright, so what had that got to do with me? Nothing much. Just that it made me sigh.and complain. and question. and doubt. and annoyed. and ungrateful.
'Why not me?' , 'Why couldn't I have been that?', ' Why couldn't I have been there?', ' Why am I here?', 'God, are you prejudiced?', ' Are you listening?', ' Are you listening at all?', ' Do you, Lord, really think those people deserve all that? I don't.', 'So tell me why I am here', 'You don't think I'm good enough?'. Poor God.
All this made me feel kinda let down, complacent and picky. Couldn't feel good about anything happening. and I hated it that way. I usually am not the one who looks out for the dark cloud when there's a silver lining. And I so badly wanted to be cheerful again.
Thanks to my window. It opens to Sunset. I was standing there, watching the orange-purple-blue sky. It looked stunning and I realized that till then I had the opinion those colors couldn't ever go together. For some reason I couldn't figure out, I felt so good inside. And I also realized how beautiful my life actually was. That I didn't actually need to be a 'Whoa! cool' person to see the dawn, the dew and all those things that make life wonderful. I'm so blessed with things that many have missed out on - Love, Family, Friends, Laughter, Happiness and Life.
I looked up skyward and said 'Lord, I'm sorry about my stupidity for the last couple of days. Thank you for everything. And, Thank you for you.Give me a heart that's totally grateful to you always'.
And, I really feel so blessed, so happy and way way above the 'Whoa! cool' kind.

God's 'Love Definition'

It just amazes me - the way God loves. It is all that I Corinth 13 defines.

The beauty of His patience, everytime I try Him beyond any known frontier. The beauty of His kindness, everytime I do something horrible.
He made the heavens and the earth and everything and yet, the way He comes down, waiting to talk to me.. waiting for me to talk to Him.. waiting not minding He's this great king. Makes me feel so special and honored! really.
He never is rude, despite the million times I disobey Him like crazy. He never is angry and this is the most beautiful thing - 'Keeping no record of wrongs' . If I'd have had a log of all my mistakes, all the hurt and pain I've caused, the show-offs of my stupidity, the world would run out of paper, digital databases and any known storage device. But He doesn't even remember one bad thing I've ever done. Not even the heart-breaking thing I just did a minute back. God, What Love!
The way He delights in the truth, when I sit down at His feet, confessing everything to Him. Just as I am. And still, after all this, He protects me. Like the apple of His eye. He even sends bands of angels to keep my foot from hitting a stone. He trusts me totally. Though He fully well knows how easily I can falter, give in to stress, fall apart from even my own principles, He chooses to trust me, believe me, have faith in me.
He perseveres for me. Sometimes, many times actually, when my head gets swollen due to various reasons and I slide back far away from Him, He still understands. He goes out of the way to draw me back to Him. His love never fails. Never. Just like He never fails.

God is Love.