Between Nostalgia and the Not-so-algia..

Guess nostalgic feelings are pretty common if you have just relocated to a whole new place, from four years of sedation in fun and happy-go-luckiness. And I am no exception! But then, there are lots to enjoy and explore. And life is pretty easy and things are at easy access.

Buses are almost on time. People stand in queues. The seats are not broken. People don’t sit on the bus top and neither is the bus floor covered in vomit.

Roses grow over fences. Both, white Picket and wires. instead of our (spell check disabled) ‘bougainvillea’. And I guess, there are more varieties and colors of roses in three adjacent houses than in the Ooty botanical garden. Really.

This city is clean. The mayor doesn’t even know I exist or my blog. So forget bribing me. The tidiness is fact.

People are very, very friendly. Friendlier than many friends I have known.
The weather is superb. Summer has just set in. Warm days and not-so-nippy nights.. I like it.

The food is..mmm..too good I gained two kilos in 15 days! Something that Karunya couldn’t do in 4 years!!

This place is really nice, you know. I’m not sure if I wanna go back home.

But more often than not, memories flood and I feel like those are still real and happening in another part of the world and I just want to return to that sweet familiarity. Yeah,I know.. it is less credible than those space portals from the Hot Wheels movies. They are all over! Sad truth.. but..

Walking alone to the bus terminal.. How many times have I walked the college grounds with friends, cheer and laughter. There was company even to the toilet. Wow!!

Java.Oracle.Linux.Java.Eclipse.Oracle.Java. Huh! I remember the project semester. The “supervised” lab sessions when we sincerely played crosswords and that ‘tallying tables’ game. I remember Netbeans and OpenSuse. I remember the Unix labs. And the void inside everyone’s head. Including the lecturers’. How happy we all were. Wish I could relive those days. Just the same way!

Strogonoff, Baguette, Promotus, HotDogs, Pizzas. Nice food.. But it is just meat, meat and more meat everyday. I remember the mess food – Poori and Channa, that Sambar sadham with nei, Parotta-Curma, Cauliflower, Cutlet on Thursday evenings. I remember amma. She is the best cook in all the world. Wish she were here..or atleast one of those mess akkas. Sniff. Sniff.

I remember every day on the way to work, how we’d rather take the bus from CBE Junction to Karunya than spend 50 bucks on a shared taxi, back from home after holidays, once in three months. Here, my everyday bus fare is around 110 rupees! BUS FARE. EVERYDAY. DUH!

That six rupees ‘kuchi chips’ from the canteen. How many times has it been my dinner. And lunch! I happened to see a similar thing in a kutty shop here. I was so excited. Wow! Kuchi chips!!
Me: Quanto custo é isso?
ShopKeeper : Dois reais e vinte centavos. Voce quer?
Me : *Mental calculation : Twenty six twos are Fifty two..plus some six rupees.. woof!*.
(Out Loud, with a stupid smile) Não, Obrigada.
*Instructing brain : I think it’s better to wait till I get home. Will buy 10 kuchi chips packets for the same amount*.

And well, honestly, nostalgic or not-so-algic, I am waiting to get back home.

Wanna Be a Centurion!

Waking up every day to “Is this what you want to do with life?” is rather irritating. Because I know the answer but I don`t know what to do about it. And probably, I cannot do anything. ‘Coz there is nothing at all I can do without affecting a soul outside of mine, other than cutting my hair. And that’s what I did. Cut it twice in 15 days!
I lazily brush my teeth wondering why I spent four years and a huge chunk of my parents’ money on something I would come to so loathe.
Fifty minutes of my one hour travel to work, I condemn myself for having landed in this binary mess.
Eight hours of work, and every 15 minutes, I bleep on God’s reminder how I would religiously perform my duties as a community service volunteer.
I return home still figuring if I can ‘rollback’ to 2005. So, perhaps, I could make a choice I wouldn’t regret five years later.
I don’t want to spend all my life serializing objects or calling remote procedures. To me, it’s not all that exciting. Really.
I wonder why I am resolving problems for rich wireless telecom giants when all I ever want in life is help distribute rations to people in refugee camps, who do not have food to eat. Let alone cellular phone facilities.
Yeah, all right. I already hear: ‘So, Go ahead. Who the heck is stopping you?’ But then.. I don’t know.. Don’t think it is as easy as it appears. I don’t really mind the risk, but people aren’t toenails to just clip away. I don’t want my decisions to affect anyone. (Anyone = Father, Mother and to a small extent, Sister). And I am loaded with questions, questions and more questions.
Charity begins at home? So, moving toward what I call charity, running over the shattered plans and hearts of folks at home is a mean thing to do, right? Can I go my own way, without even caring to offer a token of loyalty? Isn’t that what they call being ungrateful? Is it my right and an act of faith to “follow and live my dream” or does it come at the cost of a couple of broken hearts?
Aah, how I wish the arms that always held and comforted me were open now! Rhetoric wish! At present, there is this huge sign that reads “Very High Voltage. Do not dare”. :(
Lord, dear Lord, I don’t ask for understanding and I am not asking that you give me answers. I am just asking that you give me faith. Faith to believe, even when I don’t see. Faith like the Centurion’s.

Under the Juniper Tree

I am sitting on my bed – totally wrapped and still shivering. And I remember what used to, two months back, incessantly blare inside my head – RUN.RUN.RUN. I didn’t know where or how. But just wanted to run away. More like Elijah, Just that my circumstances were not all that threatening. Well, they weren’t even bad.

I have no idea why or how I landed in Brazil. And from Mount Moriah to here in Curitiba, the hand of providence has been ever faithful. How beautifully God provides for, making the road rise up to meet me.

The beauty of God carrying me when I ask Him if He would walk along.

The unknown mumbaikar, who helped me with the baggage and offered his language dictionary without which I would’ve been thought as mute here.

The lovely couple that took me in – not just into the house but also into their family.

The comfortable work place where we perch as friends rather than colleagues.

The situations that made M and S move from Boa Vista just a week before I came here. We’re now neighbors with the best neighbors in the world! Barney, Sol n Salon – The biggest blessing!

The music that lifts my spirits up. Barney’s guitar and The City’s songs.

Salon’s table of food like the Zarephath widow’s kneading bowl - never goes empty.

The amazing church in English and the awesomeness of God leading me there.

The even more amazing ways in which He kept talking to me even through the Portuguese services!

The choir and the music.*God, you never let me run away from that, do you?*

Trusty people to hang around with and unexpected opportunities to visit places.

The big bunch of friends who care, laugh along and make life fun.

The ever comforting, ever near, ever so close Presence.

I see providence with every passing minute. I am flattered and more than grateful! I look back and see just one set of footprints. I look above and see a Juniper Tree.

Supernatural Surprise

I like surprises. They sort of catch you off-guard and for a split second you are lost for reaction. This surprise came in the most supernatural way that even though a week has passed, I haven’t figured out how to react.
I have honestly lost count of the surprises that God throws my way. They come in all sizes. It was a couple of weeks before that I was telling God how it had been a while since He showed the ‘Love Symbols’ that we shared. A few of my favorites are The Glowworm, The Butterfly, The Eagle and The Rainbow. I was yet to see a rainbow in Brazil, which so happened to be God’s more preferred way of saying ‘love ya!’ four years in college. So I was insisting God surprise me in some way on my trip to ‘Foz Do Iguacu’ last weekend.

And I knew He would! I was at the ‘Cataratas’, climbing up the mountain and I told God with a smirk – “You know Lord, sometimes I think I can predict you. I know you are definitely gonna put a rainbow in there and I am not going to be surprised. :P”

I was near the waters and I saw three brilliant rainbows. So beautiful, in places you can never imagine! I felt so thrilled. But then I was also teasing God saying, “I knew it Lord! I so knew it. Your surprise didn’t pass”. It felt like God was smiling back and saying “Look Up”. I did and I was.. ‘bowled over’ doesn’t even get as close as a hundred miles. There were like thirty eagles – Swooping, swarming, resting, soaring. I can never possibly put that feeling into words. The eagles on mountain tops! Even incredible is believable..This one was way beyond.

I felt so so humbled – at His splendor, at His majesty, at His unfathomable self. I wanted to fall on my knees and bow in reverence. The voice of many waters – The voice of the Lord. I almost choked to tears. I will never understand His ways. His methods. His plans.

And I remembered what ‘The Baptist’ said in his sermon the week before.
“If the things God does are small and simple enough for me to understand, He wouldn’t be big enough for me to worship”.

Someone had planted a wooden board on the way and it read (In English, to my joy!) :
Mightier than the thunders of many waters,
Mightier than the waves of the sea –
The Lord on high is mighty.
Psalm 93:4

M.T. : The Misplaced-Terrestrial

If Steven Spielberg has any idea of making a movie like “M.T. : The Misplaced-Terrestrial”, I would do anything to dust it off of his head. Lives of M.T’s are more embarrassing than they are adventurous. Trust me.

The camera zooms in showing, first the universe->solar system->a revolving Earth-> a disfigured Google Earth screenshot-> South America-> Brazil-> Parana-> and finally a road sign that reads “Ben Vindo a Curitiba”. (Oh, well, if Spielberg had graduated from Karunya, I bet this would be the opening scene. The hundreds of presentations they show sort of hardcodes into your brain that any visual clip starts with the cosmic mystery)
And then clearing from a hazy image, you see the protagonist (which would be me), staring back at you – blank and petrified.

Yeah, right, that is how I felt when I landed in Sao Paulo. I had to take a domestic connection to Curitiba from there, and for a really long time I was wishing Portugal had colonized India instead of the British. Nothing here was in English. Nada! Even those airport folks who wore jackets inscribed “Need help?” replied something in Portuguese which I interpreted as “Sorry, we don’t speak English”.I felt like I was stranded. Guess anyone would have felt pretty much the same, specially when you were sent a couple of emails about the high crime-rate and a list of DON’T’S that went upto page 4.. To top it all, I was watching ‘Taken’ on the flight from Dubai to Sao Paulo. Crumbs!! I was wondering how I was ever going to figure out where the domestic terminal was, let alone the flight. Thank God for a Mumbaikar at the airport, who helped me with my luggage and the domestic terminal. Saude, Mr. Alphonso!

Finally in Curitiba! The family that lets me lodge is amazing. A godsend, honestly! But most of our conversations are gesture-talk. And it is more like I start laughing when they tell me about a dead grandmother thinking it was some joke about SpongeBob.

If you think that was awkward, welcome to the new awkward.

It was the first day at office and I’m so grateful for the folks and their friendliness. They invited me to lunch at a buffet place and there were around 12 of us. If it wasn’t for ‘Motorist-Namesake(MN)’, I wouldn’t have known I had to pick my own plate and my own food. MN introduced me to Sushi and man, it was the best Sushi I’d ever eaten in life! (Alright, that was the first Sushi I ever ate). Everything about Sushi was great except that I didn’t know how to use the chopsticks. I plopped a Sushi-unit(Pardon me, I know not what they call it) into Soy sauce and no sleight of chopsticks worked to retrieve it. Thank God no one noticed. Or were atleast courteous enough to pretend like they didn’t. I finally saved it from disintegrating in the sauce with a fork, on MN’s suggestion, for which I was very grateful as it came with no laughter attached. I ate the remainder of the food with fork and knife. Tchaued the chopsticks!

Partly feeling okay and mostly NOT OKAY AT ALL, I was on my way home, and huh! I need to travel an hour and a half, switching 3 buses that are loaded with “English – strictly prohibited” people. Come on, this is the first time I’m travelling back from work, the route is all new and I can’t even pronounce the place I need to get down to take the next bus. And despite it becoming pretty dark when my watch shows just 6:30 pm, I managed to reach the final boarding place and Jitters! Usually the buses are boarded at the front entrance and I religiously did so till I was shoved back and directed (read: pointed) to the mid-entrance of the bus. Seems at stations called “Terminals”, as the one I was standing in, so was the custom. Bah!
Already flushing pink(Okay, I know it doesn’t show on my face), I got inside to hear a group of women LOL and like the instincts of every human, native or misplaced, I thought they were laughing at me..and I went purple(which didn’t show either, duh!)

Next morning, I take the 7 o’clock bus sternly believing morning brings with it joy, and hoping that I find myself less misplaced – this is what I realize. When in school, say 2 of every 10 people are pretty and of course, you’re in the other 8, fervently wishing to be in the minority. In college, 5 of the 10 girls are pretty and cute and you ask God why He never answered your “with-faith-like-a-child” prayer from school. Well, God’s timing is perfect, ain’t it? Now, here in Brazil, He let me receive my answer.. I’m one of the two, and 8 out of 10 are gorgeous! Thanks, Lord!!

People drive on the right side and I so idiotically open the left door of cars forgetting it is the wheel side which immediately commands a “So, you gonna drive? .. Huahuahua..” from my colleagues..and a series of funny comments in Portuguese, and suddenly I’m thankful I don’t understand the language. And I was almost run over trying to cross the road as I carefully checked to the right and a truck vroomed past me from the left. “Oh darn!” I screamed to myself,” That’s the right side” ..and I heard myself – That is the right side! Yeah, perhaps it wasn’t all that thwarting, just that it would have cost me my life.
Well, these are some miseries that I faced, as a fairly level-headed independent major. Guess it would take some more time till I fit in.. Until then, Me. T. , The misplaced terrestrial will have to survive the weird and wonderful ways of the nova lugar(new land, in Portuguese.. ;) ).

His.. Faithfully or however.

You really might want to read this. Thanks to BeyondMadness’ grandpa, who had preserved this book – “Sermons in Solitary Confinement” by Richard Wurmbrand. You might have heard about, read about / of him, the pastor who started the Voice of the Martyrs.
I chanced to read just a few sermons from the book and I need say, they were really deep.
This, in the preface, almost cut right through. Go ahead.

Accept your thoughts of despair and of faith, your doubts and their solution, your moments of madness and their passing away. Allow it all to happen to you. You might imagine that you are thinking. In fact, you are being thought. You may be an experiment for angels. You may be the object of a bet between God and satan, like Job. Be determined only to cling to God, even if He slays you, even if He slays your faith. If you lose your faith, then remain faithlessly His.
If all the fruits of the spirit disappear, and you remain a barren tree with only leaves, remember that leaves also have a purpose. Under their shadow, the fruitful ones may rest in the embrace of their divine lover. Leaves are used by the bride to make a garland for her beloved. Leaves are changed into healing medicines. And even when the leaves become yellow and fall withered to the ground, they can form a beautiful carpet on which He will walk toward those who, unlike you, have remained faithful to the end.

The Pond Frog?

Hmmm..I was busy exfoliating my head off of real and relevant issues for the last two months so I could dwell uninterrupted on non-existent, useless debris. Even now, there are pointless stuff floating inside my cranium and guess I’m gonna junk it out the blogger way!
Last week, I happened to spend an evening with Surrender, an acquaintance, now in eighth grade. And I know for sure, if I were in my 8th grade now, she’s never gonna be friends with me. It was almost after a year that I was meeting her and she hadn’t changed much. Last year, when I met her, She was devotedly engrossed in her quest of unearthing all possible reviews on The High School Musical movies from the internet knowledge reserve. This time, it was déjà-vu. Well, almost, except that she was now lookin up Twilight – All genre: Movie, Bloopers, Parody, and Lady Gaga, and a page solely attributed to dissect Robert Pattinson and his private life, Dress-me-up Barbie and some five more tabs.
I tried talking to her about her school, friends and stuff and all that I managed to get from her side was a description of some pool party that she’s been to. There wasn’t much to natter coz there wasn’t anything at all. Anything outside the internet and blingy birthday parties was apparently dull and boring.
I just sat there wishing I had all this cutting-edge frivolity when I was a kid. Reflecting on my school era , Man! My bygone lifetime seemed to suck! You can call it a shame if you want but I got my email ID only when I was in ninth grade..and matter-of-fact, it was accidental. Moreover, it had no real use till I got into college. I still remember the night that I spent sleepless because of the uncontrollable excitement I was filled with from seeing one of the most incredible things on Earth – Yahoo Greetings! God, what an idiot!
Sometimes I wonder whether life would be any different if I had been in some other school, lived somewhere else with resources available at want.. If I had had projects to work on instead of having to write “Dictation words” ten times for homework. If I had had a cool teacher with who I could discuss the Bermuda Triangle instead of having to listen to long winded complaints of her arthritis and the daughter-in-law. If I hadn’t have to wait till next Christmas or Easter to buy a couple of Archie comics at a raddiwalla’s, fulfilling my greatest obligation as a patron.. If.. If.. If.. Would it?
Was I then the frog in the small pond that never knew the ways of the stream or the town? I don’t know. But, even so, I don’t think I carry regrets. My time as a kid was fun in its own way.. So what if I didn’t get to go to pool parties? I enjoyed carrying home water pots from across the street. (A tip: Carrying it on your shoulder is more convenient, trust me. I never got the hip-way hang!) I climbed hills barefoot, I helped burn dead snakes, I’ve had four years of experience, being squeezed and squelched in crowded buses on the way to school and back, I ran around with goats, got stamped a couple of times by calves, I was even taught the clandestine knack of holding the ‘poonthudappam’! .. Man, I can think of a truckload of studd things!! Wow!
Guess, I have had more fun as a kid than Surrender could ever imagine.. and umm..No, I’m not trading it.. Not even for a free-for-lifetime broadband internet service. .

Mera Bharat Mahan

Sigh. A deep breath after the arduous elections. Do I sound too much like I was out there organizing all the proceedings? Sorry for over-reacting. But Hey, I was religiously following them. All the pre-poll analyses, the talk shows, surveys and stats. I don’t know why but I felt very much like the nation was about to make a crucial decision that would change my entire life! It was kind of addictive, following the election assay. And I should admit, I felt sweet relief wash over after the results were out. Mera Bharat Mahan!

I know it is too late to be writing about all this now, but watching the first round of swearing-in stirred up many thoughts that once hammered my head and gradually rested in peace. Some kind of pride swelled up inside my chest, watching the ceremony. The members who will make up the cabinet, the band, the anthem, the feel of administration and governance – I wanted to be there, watch it straight as it happens.

Drifting away in the solemnity of the Rashtrapathi bhavan, I remembered a couple of incidents that made me feel kinda resentful on the inside. Some incidents that happened sometime back..Gestures made by some “icons”, upto who we are influenced to look for things like choosing a soft drink brand, eating eggs, trying hair gel, getting cellular connections, what not ?
But do these “stars” fail to realize that the influence carries even outside the television screen?

When the Padma Shri awards were given away this year, Pity Bajra-Boy, Captain couldn’t make it to the ceremony ‘coz they had other commitments. A ceremony that perhaps they thought the President, the Prime Minister and other governors were too jobless to attend? Isn’t it an honor that most citizens would kill for? Adorable!

And yeah, even during the elections. Here is the government, trying to make it dawn on the people that voting is the right and responsibility of every citizen and there are our role-models sitting in the dug outs busily engrossed in cheering their teammates in South Africa..and Kayaking and Fishing. Wow!!

I really did not know what to think. It is kind of hard but I was just hoping people we look up to spend some time using their brains for better purposes like thinking and act a bit more responsible. Sigh. A deep breath again.

It all mattered.

Hiya! It's been some real long. Hey, No.. Elections / IPL didn't send me into oblivion. Had some stuff happening in my own world - Vacating the hostel, last minute adieus, a hundred hugs (seriously), blah.blah.blah.

Bidding goodbye to the place that I was taught to call my "Second Home" for the last four years wasn't all that dramatic for me. I know I am going to miss some people who taught me so much in life. Some things that made life so exciting. Some incidents that shaped me into what I am now, for better or for worse. But there's really no drama in there.

Alright, I just wanted to thank God first of everything for making it all happen. And thanks to all you guys who really changed a lot about my ownself, my perspectives, my stupidity. I owe you all big time. The blogosphere would not contain if I start off with who's done what. So, Here goes just naming names and pouring out all my gratitude!!

The morning assemblies, The choir, The PC's, The uncensored Hostel fun, The beautiful mountains, weather and the rainbows - For making me rediscover myself.

Paapa, Devaraagam, Calligraphy, AppleRum, Paniyaaram, Bajji, Stepmom, Remix, TutiGirl, Jakkamma, Flowerbed, Avril Wannabe, BabuBoy, SolaiMalar, Mottai, Junior Operator, Carrot Blender, BusBaas, Bin*Bin - For making every bit of my college span total fun.

Mostafa, SRA, The Lamp, PuppyDog, Affleck, VeetuSoru, Gundu, Altitude, Sottai, RSR, No23, Quilon, Bigatha, Hope-Giver, Mani Enna?, Ms.Jackie Chan, Blouse-Stealer, Wings, Piglet, DaVinci, Post-Jan. - For all that you've done, been.


Pink Panther - For shoving some sense into my head everytime I become cranky. For all the fun. For all the secrets.

The Tribe - For the music. For the pranks. For being the sweetest and the stupidest brother ever. You sure can make make me laugh.

Mother Goose - For being the Father-Figure, the Mother-Figure, My Warden, My Boss. I would've lost myself somewhere if you hadn't been there. Honest.

Beyond Madness - For being my Jonathan. Or Perhaps, I am Jonathan, King David. Simply, For a million reasons.

What-Do-I-Name-You? - For the hours, the minutes, the seconds. For Everything. You chaged my life forever.

The Godsend!

It was a monotonous week - the same ritual comprising of three phases: Walk to the morning assembly, Go to the department to mark attendance, Crawl back to the hostel and curl up in bed. I was already tiring from this not-much-to-do routine. It made my brain duller and my thoughts sulkier. I couldn't do anything to keep my energy levels from surging to unknown depths. Somebody, Abolish boredom!

Thanks to BeyondMadness's godsend relatives. They had come down to beat the heat in Covai Coutralam and had pulled over to meet BM, donate charitable amounts of chips and extend a much awaited invitation to join them. For courtesy's sake or whatever, we were too quick to nod yes, and then hurried to FoodZone to buy some food packets.

We then harnessed our efforts to wake Bigatha up from her hibernation and got her also into the cab. Off we sneaked toward the Waterfall. O What joy! The sound of monotony shattering!

There were two families and the three of us. We hiked on, stopping at times, to absorb the mystic beauty of nature. I've been there twice before. But each time seemed as beautiful as ever. And this time, it felt even more refreshing because just a few hours back and ages past from there, I was nibbling a very low morale.
We walked and walked, listening to many different sounds in varying decibels. It was a very, very nice feeling - Being surrounded by trees and birds and insects, all forgetting uneventful courses of life and happily swaying or chirping the moment away.

The sound of water flowing ('Gushing' would be exaggerating) down the rocks was spirit-lifting. It reminded me of some characteristic of God but I couldn't figure out which. I was just feeling so overwhelmed for reasons I didn't know. Waters really do something magical, don't they?

BeyondMadness, Bigatha and I found ourselves totally drenched, head to toe, enjoying every drop of water falling on us. It seemed to wash all the dreary feelings off me. After almost 40 minutes of ceaseless fun in the water, we climbed up the rock just above to bask for sometime. It was all nice till people standing below moved over and shot peculiar looks at us. I was wondering if our beauty actually did draw that much attention. Not until some woman asked Bigatha and BeyondMadness to shift aside coz they were blocking the flow. Pity, the people below only saw drops trickling where once was fast falling waters! All hail Biggy and BM. They are powerful enough to change the course of water.Not wanting to embarrass ourselves further, we slid down and left for lunch.

We found a good place nearby and settled with 'Veetu Saapadu' and FoodZone's exclusive red-dyed Chilly Parothas. We lazed there for sometime and chanced to see a big crab. I didn't know crabs thrived in falling waters till then. We started off back, heading toward yet another fortnight of habitual unexcitement, Bigatha and myself relishing sourmangaas lathered in salt and chilly powder... Climbing slowly down the mountain, carrying along memories of serenity and enchantment.

Grandmoms and Shoes.

I was of the idea that politics was not this much a kindergarten show. Interesting, Confusing, Disturbing, Dirty, Trying, Hopeless have been some of the adjectives that I've known to precede the word 'Politics', but definitely not 'stupidly annoying'. Atleast not until recently.

Let's talk about some shoes. From when on did 'Soling' become famous? Yeah, Soling as in the sole of a shoe. As far as I know (and I haven't done researches on it yet), The first Political public display of Disaffection, you might say, that became so popular was when that Iraqi Journalist, Muntadar al-Zaidi, flung his shoe at the then US President, George W. Bush during some conference.

Here's news for Indians. Do you seriously think that when parties try to implement Cyber Election Campaigning strategies like they did in the US, there wouldn't be some individual who would try to implement 'Soling'?
Couple of weeks back, a journalist hurled a shoe at Home minister P. Chidambaram, when he was justifying the Tytler issue. And the newest member of the Shoe-Hit community is BJP's Presidential Candidate L.K. Advani. And this time, it was slightly embarassing because it was a party member who soled the Ex-Deputy Prime Minister.
So, what is all this? Some sort of fun game, like 'Who hurls the shoe farthest?' or worse still, 'Which official gets hit the maximum number of times?'. Man, This is just so disgusting.
And just because shoe-throwing was not elegant enough, there's teasing and mockery to go alongwith. Modi calling the Congress an Old Lady, BSP's Akhilesh Das calling Nafisa Ali a grandma, Will this ever stop? Or will these supposed rulers of the country shrink to degenerate forms and start calling each other 'Fatso', 'Shorty', 'Baldy'?

Don't things mature with age? Or has some kind of unknown biological phenomenon erupted inside the heads of homo sapiens without anybody knowing it? Or is it just a syndrome that affects people in politics and to an extent, journalists? And why am I even bothered!!

Somebody, answer me. Or teach those bunch of people some sense.

The Wall from the moon.

Dedicated to my dearly beloved Ms.Allergic-to-Aubergines(AtA).

AtA was arguing with me about the uniqueness of the Great China Wall. The uniqueness being 'The only man-made structure visible from the moon, naked eyed'. That was what her teacher told her, she said.
For my dear AtA and anyone who believes so, I'm sorry to disappoint.

The wall of China is barely visible from space and would be Okay-visible with extremely high resolution lenses. From the Lower earth Orbit, even many God-made, man-made structures cannot be seen properly. As altitude hikes up, you'd slowly zoom out of the sphere and away from structures you were looking at till then.
Earth, from the moon is seen only as an indistinct sphere . I've read that even shapes of countries cannot be figured out from there without proper equipment.Talk about a wall! It is just a myth that The Great Wall of China can be seen from the moon, when your toolkit is a pair of wide-open eyes.
Seems it was Richard Halliburton , the author of 'Second Book of Marvels', who first came up with this honor for the Chinese Wall.But unfortunately for him, it was only late after his death that Space folks succeeded in the first unmanned landing on the moon, and later still, manned ones. So, showering the Great Wall with such a compliment is actually baseless.
Sorry Folks. The Great Wall of China is not a sight-seeing hotspot on the Luna.

The familiar place

This is the place we've arrived at many times before. This is where I've brought you to so often that you would almost feel at home now. I'm sorry we're here again. I haven't been anything you could be proud of. Falling apart, running astray, wounding your heart, having my way - I think I've turned pro there.

Lord, We'll move out? I don't want to be in this place anymore. I'm really sorry I brought you here.

I wonder Lord, How could I have possibly failed to see the love that held you on the tree? The love that you had for me?
Though I fail to appreciate the million miles you walk me through, you still choose to walk forever with me. Though I spurn your unconditional love and run after what I want, you still stand by my side.Waiting. Hoping. even Praying.
You admire me so much you have me carved in your palm. You hide me in the cleft of the rock. God, that seriously is ingenious. Wow! And you cover me under the shadow of your wings. That's beautiful. If it were picket fence, I'd hurt my forehead a dozen times in a day. You call out to me and wait to hear my voice. Oh my God, imagine that. And the most amazing of all, you whisper into my ear that I'm your greatest love. I'm thrilled Lord. You make me feel so special. Make me feel beautiful. Make it all, don't know, divine.


Lord, Thank you. Nothing ever, ever could be more beautiful than your Love.

Between Power and Bliss.

How I wish I never outgrew innocence! How I wish I were ignorant of many things I now know of!
Ignorance is bliss.

Okay, Let's get self-centered, meaning 'Shar-centered' for sometime in this entry. This Knowledge and Ignorance thing is a bit confusing and I'm trying hard to balance them both.
Everyone wants power. To see things, to do things, to change things. Knowledge is Power, Alright. But do I really care? Okay, I agree that the apathy does not apply to the peripheral areas of my life like Math and Physics or Computer science (for the record). Like, when I pour Date syrup in my mug of milk and some of it forms brown patterns on the milk, I 'know' it's because of Surface Tension. And I'm glad that classrooms taught me to 'know' that skyscrapers are tensile, Thanks to Elasticity co-efficient. I understand it would be stupid - tirelessly wondering 'Man! How on Earth does syrup dance on top of the milk instead of happily plunging deep inside'.

Yes, but.. It is even more primitively stupid- eternally answering wringers like 'Why on Earth does Lord Fleeting enjoy every bit of making BBQ with BlackForest? And the meat gets so burnt each time, almost everyday, as they lose track of the grilling time. Lord Fleeting used to love Esmeralda's company. Not any more? Lord Fleeting says he feels so repelled by Esmeralda, why? How far removed Lord Fleeting had become from what he used to be! *Sigh!*

I really wish I never heard the lot of things I get to hear that send me to disappointment mode. Wish I never saw the very many things I get to see that hurt me just too bad. Wish I never had the light of Knowledge shine this bright and intense on the central area of my life.

So, what if knowledge is power? I am maimed, and this power does nothing about it. This power does not change what is happening. This power does not help me from feeling bad. So, then, what use is this power to me?

The only thing this power managed to do was disrupt the bliss! The bliss of not knowing things that make people feel miserable. The bliss of not knowing to see through masks and disguises. The bliss of not having to doubt people. The bliss of trusting everyone completely. The bliss of Ignorance.

Written on some wall : Ignorance is bliss. and right underneath it : I don't know what it means, but I'm happy.

Gratitude? Yes, Please.

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings- Eric Hoffer.

Was just wondering at my own self - Man, was i really thinking this?

It was just last evening that the setting sun made it dawn on me how astray i had let my mind wander the last couple of days. I couldn't believe it myself, but i had turned out into this rude, thankless girl for a few days till yesterday. Not out of choice, of course.Circumstances actually pushed me into ungratefulness. Or that's how I want to think.
So happened that somehow, maybe because of some soul's fervent prayers, I was showered with the type of blessing that gets you to see, hear, watch folks who are this 'Whoa! cool' kind. 'Whoa! cool' would be essentially defined as the elite few, who satisfy one or more of the following conditions
1.Total smarties who do stuff like talking real sense, making things work, 'thinking out of the box', and not using such awkward cliches! The worst part is that when they're done and you wanna say something in admiration, you realize you're not able to coz your jaw is on the floor. Yeah, It dropped when they started and you didn't notice.
2. Folks who are abroad, for studies/ internship/work/ whatever. Folks that know the tricky knacks of shuttling between work and school, managing bills, drawing trust frontiers, most importantly, making parents proud.
3. Folks who know what they are on Earth for, who make life worthwhile with goals and dreams and passions.
4. Folks who are just too darn lucky!

Alright, so what had that got to do with me? Nothing much. Just that it made me sigh.and complain. and question. and doubt. and annoyed. and ungrateful.
'Why not me?' , 'Why couldn't I have been that?', ' Why couldn't I have been there?', ' Why am I here?', 'God, are you prejudiced?', ' Are you listening?', ' Are you listening at all?', ' Do you, Lord, really think those people deserve all that? I don't.', 'So tell me why I am here', 'You don't think I'm good enough?'. Poor God.
All this made me feel kinda let down, complacent and picky. Couldn't feel good about anything happening. and I hated it that way. I usually am not the one who looks out for the dark cloud when there's a silver lining. And I so badly wanted to be cheerful again.
Thanks to my window. It opens to Sunset. I was standing there, watching the orange-purple-blue sky. It looked stunning and I realized that till then I had the opinion those colors couldn't ever go together. For some reason I couldn't figure out, I felt so good inside. And I also realized how beautiful my life actually was. That I didn't actually need to be a 'Whoa! cool' person to see the dawn, the dew and all those things that make life wonderful. I'm so blessed with things that many have missed out on - Love, Family, Friends, Laughter, Happiness and Life.
I looked up skyward and said 'Lord, I'm sorry about my stupidity for the last couple of days. Thank you for everything. And, Thank you for you.Give me a heart that's totally grateful to you always'.
And, I really feel so blessed, so happy and way way above the 'Whoa! cool' kind.

God's 'Love Definition'

It just amazes me - the way God loves. It is all that I Corinth 13 defines.

The beauty of His patience, everytime I try Him beyond any known frontier. The beauty of His kindness, everytime I do something horrible.
He made the heavens and the earth and everything and yet, the way He comes down, waiting to talk to me.. waiting for me to talk to Him.. waiting not minding He's this great king. Makes me feel so special and honored! really.
He never is rude, despite the million times I disobey Him like crazy. He never is angry and this is the most beautiful thing - 'Keeping no record of wrongs' . If I'd have had a log of all my mistakes, all the hurt and pain I've caused, the show-offs of my stupidity, the world would run out of paper, digital databases and any known storage device. But He doesn't even remember one bad thing I've ever done. Not even the heart-breaking thing I just did a minute back. God, What Love!
The way He delights in the truth, when I sit down at His feet, confessing everything to Him. Just as I am. And still, after all this, He protects me. Like the apple of His eye. He even sends bands of angels to keep my foot from hitting a stone. He trusts me totally. Though He fully well knows how easily I can falter, give in to stress, fall apart from even my own principles, He chooses to trust me, believe me, have faith in me.
He perseveres for me. Sometimes, many times actually, when my head gets swollen due to various reasons and I slide back far away from Him, He still understands. He goes out of the way to draw me back to Him. His love never fails. Never. Just like He never fails.

God is Love.